Unlike my esteemed colleagues, ever since signing up for 0110, nothing strange has happened in my life.

Nothing.

I have not discovered a burned-out car just outside the front door.

I have not spent a night in Casualty watching the walls change shape.

I have not won an Xbox 360, a modem, sunglasses, videos, sterling silver pens, or cash.

Two bottles of fine wine with no sender, no return address, and no note have not suddenly arrived on the doorstep.

I have not been offered a well-paid job starting the next day after visiting a friend's office to see what he does for a living.

Money just sufficient to cover my rent and food for the month has not arrived the day before I need it for the fourth month running.

The landlord of the local pub has not offered everyone in the bar free drinks all evening and refused to close, even when the police arrive at midnight.

Middle-aged ladies who I've never met before have not pulled to the side of the road and asked me to skin up to help them cope with the London traffic.

I want my weird back, damn you.

- Piers Beckley 17th November 2009